Conference season is a big deal in the world of Student Affairs. For many current and aspiring Student Affairs Professionals (SAPs), it’s the time to line up professional development plans, lock in travel details, and make the most of departmental funding. It’s a season full of energy—confirmation emails flying in, hotel and flight bookings made, and shiny new business cards ready to be handed out. But in the excitement of it all, there’s often a group that gets overlooked: the introverts. What about those of us who want to grow and connect, but struggle with a low social battery or social anxiety? Are we just supposed to sit this one out and hope for quieter growth opportunities? Speaking from experience, the answer is a resounding no.
As an introverted SAP myself, I’ve wrestled with this dilemma for a long time. I remember my first in-person conference during the first semester of my master’s program—I was pumped. All my more extroverted peers talked about the amazing connections they’d made, the friends they reconnected with, and how transformative the experience was. As someone who deeply values relationships, I was excited to see what the hype was about. But once I arrived, the reality hit me hard. I was constantly exhausted, overwhelmed, and irritable. I had no space to recharge, and I left feeling more drained than inspired. Despite gaining valuable skills and insights, I walked away thinking, “Never again.”
I held on to that mindset until the following year, when a close friend—also an introverted SAP—asked me to attend a conference with them. All the emotions from my previous experience came rushing back. I wanted to say no, to protect my peace. But I also didn’t want my friend to miss out on the opportunity to learn and connect. So, I got to work. I created what I now call the Conferencing Introvert’s Checklist—a guide including six steps designed to help introverted SAPs prepare for conference season in a way that supports mental wellness, reduces feelings of being overwhelmed, and allows for meaningful engagement on our own terms.
1. Bring Comfort
Whether it’s your first conference or your 50th, bringing a sense of comfort with you can make a huge difference. Conferences often mean new environments, packed schedules, and limited control over what’s happening around you—all of which can be overwhelming. That’s why having something familiar to ground you is so important. For me, that comfort came in the form of a book and my Nintendo Switch. Those two things helped me stay present or offered a welcome escape into a different reality when I needed a break. Just having them nearby gave me a sense of control and calm when things felt overwhelming or I was overstimulated.
But comfort doesn’t always have to be something you pack in your bag. For a close friend of mine, it looked like inviting me to attend the conference with them. Having a “conference buddy” can be an incredible support system—especially if you both understand what it means to navigate the event as introverts. We instinctively knew when the other needed a break, a quiet moment, or just someone to sit with in silence. Being that source of comfort for each other turned what could’ve been an overwhelming experience into something manageable and even enjoyable.
2. Have Your Contact Information Ready
Conference season is all about connection—meeting new people, exchanging ideas, and building your network. But let’s face it, the pressure to share your info on the spot can be stressful if you’re not prepared. Save yourself the worry by planning ahead for how you’ll exchange contact details. There are so many modern, easy ways to do it!
From digital business cards that use Near Field Communication (NFC) for a quick “tap to share” experience, to good old-fashioned printed cards, there’s an option for every comfort level. You can even generate a QR code that links directly to your LinkedIn profile. Whether you’re tech-savvy or prefer something more traditional, having a plan to connect will help you feel more confident and at ease when the networking begins.
Another benefit is that when you take someone else’s info, it sort of relieves you of the responsibility of talking with them in depth in the conference environment. Instead, you can follow up when you get home and manage your interactions from there. But don’t forget to reach back out. There was a reason you shared information to begin with. Don’t miss out on what you can build moving forward.
3. Remember Your Mission
There’s a reason you chose to attend this conference—maybe it’s to build connections, gain new skills for your community, or deepen your understanding of the field. Whatever your purpose, hold on to it. Write it down in the notebook you are using or journal about it throughout the conference. Keeping the rationale for attending front-of-mind can make a huge difference in how much you engage with others and what you bring home from the experience.
It’s easy to feel overwhelmed in the flurry of sessions and conversations, but don’t forget how fortunate you are to be here. This is a unique opportunity to grow, reflect, and spark change—not just for yourself, but for the people and spaces you serve. Not everyone gets to go to every conference or professional development opportunity they would like to. Make the most of the ones you attend and bring some gratitude to your experience. It won’t always take all of the nervous energy away, but it may help.
4. Get Outside of Your Comfort Zone
Since you’re already outside of your comfort zone just by being at the conference, push yourself a little bit more. Seek out sessions that challenge your thinking and introduce you to something completely new! Some of the most rewarding experiences come from sitting in on topics that feel outside your comfort zone. As Student Affairs Professionals, we’ve committed ourselves to lifelong learning—and conferences are one of the best spaces to live out that value. Whether it’s a session you wouldn’t normally choose or a social event that stretches your usual boundaries, stepping into unfamiliar territory can lead to unexpected connections, fresh skills to bring back home, and even surprising self-discoveries along the way.
5. Alone Is Okay
At most conferences, you’ll likely run into familiar faces—whether they’re colleagues from your current organization, former classmates, or connections from past institutions. Seeing people you know can be a comforting way to ease into the busy, social atmosphere of the event. That said, don’t worry if you find yourself walking into a session where you don’t recognize a single person. It’s totally okay to be the only one you know in the room! In fact, it can be a great opportunity to step outside your comfort zone, meet new people, and gain fresh perspectives.
6. TAKE BREAKS
It’s easy to fall into the mindset that you have to attend every single session at a conference—but that’s just not true. Instead, prioritize the sessions that matter most to you, and don’t be afraid to take breaks in between. Giving yourself time to recharge will help you stay focused, energized, and more present when it really counts.
Recharging can take a lot of different forms. You might skip a session to sit outside. Maybe you plan for a dinner on your own (or even room service for even more self-time and space). Some conferences will set aside quiet spaces at the conferences themselves. Whatever works for you, plan so you can get the most out of the experience without taking too much of a toll on yourself.
Student Affairs is filled with a wide variety of personalities—some of us thrive in social settings, while others are more introverted. But being less outgoing doesn’t mean you should miss out on the incredible networking and growth opportunities that conferences offer. You don’t have to fit a certain mold to show up, learn, and connect. That’s why this guidance is intentionally broad—so you can adapt it to fit your own style, needs, and comfort level.
Don’t let fear or discomfort hold you back from experiences that could shape your professional journey. Growth stops when we become stagnant, and you deserve every opportunity to keep moving forward. Use your professional development resources, seek out learning in ways that work best for you—whether that’s attending in-person events, joining virtual sessions, or diving into books, certifications, and trainings. Being an introvert isn’t a barrier; it’s just one part of how you navigate the path of lifelong learning and impact.
Author Bio
Kamariah “Kai” Hammonds (she/her/hers) is the Assistant Director for Inclusion and Multicultural Engagement at Lewis and Clark College. As a first-generation African American/Black college student, Kai is deeply passionate about supporting underrepresented student populations and fostering inclusive, affirming spaces for LGBTQIA+ and allied students. Her work is grounded in a commitment to diversity, equity, and inclusion, and she strives to uplift marginalized voices in all that she does. Though introverted by nature, Kai isn’t afraid to step outside her comfort zone to advocate for and support the people and communities she cares about most.