Introduction
This article is designed as a guide through a specific scenario related to identity education and training. Student affairs practitioners are educators in many forms—facilitating conversations, leading programs, and creating space for learning beyond the classroom. Often, we are asked to lead discussions on identity—sometimes identities we personally hold, and sometimes ones we do not. This work raises important questions: What does it mean to facilitate learning about identities we do not embody? How do we do that work responsibly, without avoiding it or centering ourselves? How do we honor the diversity of individual members of identity groups rather than describing those who share identities as being homogeneous?
This article walks through a scenario that explores those questions, offering reflection prompts along the way. I was especially influenced by Dale Hunter’s The Art of Facilitation, which emphasizes the role of the facilitator as a guide—someone who creates the conditions for honest, inclusive learning, rather than positioning themselves as the sole authority. That perspective clicked for me. Too often, I have seen (or been) the person asked to present on a marginalized identity simply because others were afraid to “get it wrong.” But being afraid is not a reason to step back—it is a reason to prepare more intentionally. This article is about what that preparation can look like, and how we can show up with care and courage when facilitating identity-based learning.
Jordan’s Experience
As a straight, cis-gender, man-presenting student affairs practitioner working in , Jordan had done a lot of presentations and had taught a variety of college transition courses. When drawing on their own experiences – Jordan used the pronouns they/them which often required them to help their students and colleagues understand who Jordan was – the work was relatively easy if not always 100% comfortable. However, because of some of the experiences Jordan had, they realized how important it was to be sensitive to the needs of other populations when educating about identity. Today was one of those times when care and sensitivity were essential.
Jordan stood before the room, glancing at the anticipatory faces before them. Jordan had led many discussions as a facilitator before, but this one felt different. They were about to present on the experiences of transgender individuals—an identity Jordan did not hold. The weight of responsibility pressed on their shoulders.
Prompt 1: How could they ensure the conversation remained respectful, educational, and engaging without placing the burden of education on those whose identities were being discussed?
Understanding the Complexity of Identity Representation
Before stepping into the room, Jordan had spent weeks preparing. They knew that identity is multifaceted, shaped by race, gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation, religion, ability, and other intersecting factors. They also understood the importance of avoiding oversimplification. Rather than presenting one perspective as the definitive experience of a community, Jordan gathered insights from multiple sources. This way, the conversation would represent a diversity of experiences rather than reducing identity to a single story.
Jordan recalled a mistake they had seen in past discussions—facilitators assuming that those with the identity in question should take the lead. This expectation placed an unfair burden on marginalized individuals, often leading to frustration and burnout. Determined not to make this mistake, Jordan ensured they came prepared, engaging deeply with the topic through research, personal reflection, and active listening to those who voluntarily shared their experiences.
Prompt 2: Consider a time in your own experience where the bulk of education was put on a marginalized person or group of people in a learning context. In what ways did this work and what issues did it create? How could things have been done differently? What are the pros and cons of someone who does not hold a particular identity leading an educational experience about that identity?
Facilitating Self-Introspection
Before structuring the discussion, Jordan took time for self-introspection, a foundational skill (Hunter et al., 2007). They asked themselves: What biases might I bring into this conversation? How do my privileges or disadvantages shape the way I see and present this topic?
As a cisgender person, Jordan recognized that their understanding of gender identity came from an outsider’s perspective. They reflected on their past assumptions, challenged their preconceived notions, and sought out knowledge that would help them speak with humility and accuracy. Self-introspection, they realized, was not a one-time process but an ongoing commitment to learning and unlearning.
Prompt 3: What does reflection or self-introspection look like for you (inner dialogue, written reflection, something different)? In what situations have you used these strategies in the past?
Facilitating Others: Skills Practice
Jordan knew that simply delivering information was not enough. According to Hunter et al. (2007), true facilitation requires engaging participants in skills practice—allowing them to interact with the material in a meaningful way. To accomplish this, Jordan designed an exercise where participants would engage in role-playing scenarios. One scenario involved confronting a microaggression, while another asked participants to consider how to support a friend questioning their gender identity. These exercises encouraged participants to actively engage rather than passively absorb information.
During the discussion, a participant hesitated, worried about saying the wrong thing. Jordan reassured them, explaining that mistakes were part of the learning process. By creating a space where participants could practice without fear of shame, Jordan helped participants grow more confident in their ability to engage thoughtfully in conversations about identity.
Prompt 4: What are some strategies you have used or seen used to encourage a group to engage in conversation? What works well in your experience? What types of activities are you most comfortable facilitating? How might others assist you if a topic requires practices you are not adept at using? What strategies have you seen that were problematic or caused harm? What follow-up needs to happen following mistakes in facilitation or dialogue?
Facilitating Group Dynamics
As the discussion progressed, Jordan noticed certain group dynamics emerging. A few people began dominating the conversation, while others remained silent. This was another crucial element of facilitation—ensuring balanced participation.
Drawing on Hunter et al.’s (2007) work on group facilitation, Jordan gently encouraged quieter participants to share, reminding the group that everyone’s perspectives were valuable. At the same time, they established guidelines that fostered respectful dialogue, preventing debates from turning into arguments and ensuring that no one felt pressured to educate others simply because they held a particular identity. Recognizing that dominant voices can unintentionally silence others, Jordan also made space by tactfully interrupting when necessary and redirecting the conversation to ensure balance. Rather than framing introversion as something to “overcome,” they validated the different ways people contribute—acknowledging that thoughtful listening is as important as speaking—and emphasized the value of pauses, reflection, and a range of communication styles in building an inclusive group dynamic.
Prompt 5: How can you affirm that listening, reflection, and nonverbal engagement are also valuable forms of participation? How can you encourage space-sharing without making introverts feel like they need to “speak up” to be heard?
Conclusion
As the session wrapped up, Jordan reflected on what they had learned. Presenting on someone else’s identity required more than just knowledge—it required intentional facilitation. By engaging in self-introspection, guiding others in skills practice, and carefully managing group dynamics, Jordan had created a discussion that was both educational and respectful.
The experience reaffirmed their belief that we all share the responsibility of fostering inclusive spaces. No single person should bear the burden of educating others about their identity. By approaching these conversations with care, anyone can contribute to a more thoughtful and equitable dialogue.
Prompt 6: What other skills or approaches have you seen facilitators use effectively? What skills or approaches have not worked as well? Why?
Prompt 7: While this scenario focused on a discussion about identity, being a prepared facilitator is important in any situation. What other topics can you think of that may be uncomfortable, tense, or challenging for groups? How might the strategies discussed in this article be used or adapted for those situations?
Reference
Hunter, D., (2007). The Art of Facilitation. Random House.
Author Biography
Kaleb Scott (he/him) currently serves as a Resident Director at Northwestern University, working with a diverse student population, including athletes, first-generation/low-income (FGLI) students, and international students. Passionate about equity and inclusion, he is focused on expanding his research and publications before applying to doctoral programs. His work centers on identity, justice, and creating more equitable experiences in higher education.